Riddle Me This! If Wrestlers Were Pokémon, What Types Would They Be?

Who’d win in a fight between Superman and Spawn? How the f*ck old is Cable? And what in the holy hell is a Megatron? When the tough questions arise, Panels on Pages will gather the facts, but it’s up to the PoP!ulation to draw its own conclusions. So come on… Riddle Me This!

kanethumbThis past Sunday on WWE’s Extreme Rules pay-per-view we saw Kane fall through a flaming table, only for it to barely affect him. This made perfect sense to me. Kane has magic fire powers, so clearly he’s a Fire type. That means that falling through the flames shouldn’t have been very effective on him. I had never thought of wrestling in terms of Pokémon prior to this moment. Of course this prompted me to think about what types of Pokémon other wrestlers would be. For the most part, I would say that wrestlers are Fighting or Normal type. That just goes with the territory. These are fighters so they’re going to be Fighting types, but I have come up with a list of wrestlers that aren’t just your usual fighters:

  • Undertaker- Of course the natural first choice after thinking about Kane would be to move to his “brother,” the Undertaker. I feel like it’s quite obvious that he’s a Ghost Type.
  • Brock Lesnar- Lesnar is a tank of a human being and has been shown to have an absurdly huge defense and a resistance to a variety attacks. Sounds like a Steel type to me. Let’s expand that a little though. His defeat of the Undertaker at Wrestlemania 30 shows a resistance to Ghost attacks, so I’ll settle on Lesnar being a Steel-Dark type.
WWEPokemonhomepage

Don’t tell me that you guys can’t see it.

  • Great Muta- I think it’s fair to say that Muta’s use of the green mist would make him a Poison type.
  • John Cena- He can deal lots of damage and take lots of damage, which sounds like a Steel-Fighting mix to me.
  • Super Dragon, Dragon Kid, and Ultimo Dragon- Dragon types, duh.
  • AJ Lee- She’s adorable and fights dirty; probably a Fairy-Poison type.
  • The Colony- CHIKARA’s team of ants absolutely have to be Bug types.
  • Bray Wyatt- With all the mind games that Wyatt has played, it’d be hard to call him anything other than a Psychic type.
  • ShieldThe Shield- Roman Reigns is absolutely a Fighting type, maybe with some Rock attacks thrown in for good measure. Seth Rollins’ crazy dives make him a Flying type. Finally, the unpredictability and dirty tactics of Dean Ambrose make him a Dark-Poison type.

Those are all of the wrestlers that I could think of that would have definite Pokémon types. Do you have any ideas? Share them with the world in the comments!

(Credit for the Pokémon style Kane and Shield goes to Tomycase)

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Who ARE these people!?

Kelly Harrass is a comic shop worker and writer from Milwaukee, WI. You may know him as Mahoney's wrestling watching sidekick on Last Week in PoP! Find him on Twitter @comicgeekelly and email him at [email protected]

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  1. Regardless of anything else, Ryback is the leader of Team Rocket.

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